I closed my eyes and focused on the word. Thoughts of wanting for myself quickly rippled out to encompass more and more people, things, my family, the nation, the world. Ideas discarded one after another as being too small for such a powerful word. Kind of like being careful not to waste one of the Genie's three granted wishes.
|I collaged bits of a paper towel I had been using to blot and wipe ink and paint from another project.|
I love the texture, and enhanced the red radiating lines left from a stencil with red paint.
And then, my thoughts drawn back in again. To me. What do I want? What could make me a more powerful center that sends ripples into the world? Well, something has been invading my peace, my ease of being, my ability - even my desire - to interact with the world. My hips. My hips don't lie.
I'm actually embarrassed and feel quite vulnerable admitting it here. :( Yes, my hips, especially the left one are in constant, CONSTANT pain. I think it's because I am physically crooked. My hair stylists have always had to deal with my off-horizontal shoulder line. Since Junior High I always thought I had a knack for picking out pants in which the right leg was an inch or so shorter than the left. I can only sling a purse on my left shoulder; it just slides off the right.
Sitting at a desk job seems to exacerbate the condition, and stretching, yoga, walking, and ibuprofen don't seem to be making a lick of difference. I feel like such an old lady. I try to mask the pain in public, but when I get home my family gets to hear me whine and wince and groan. It's debilitating. I'm so over it.
So here's what I WANT:
"I want my pain to go away. I want my strength and flexibility restored. I want a solid plan of action. I want to know my intentions are rightly focused on the path to health. I want to dance and run and leap. I want my life back. I want to feel like myself. I want to know that there is "getting to the other side" of this, because I want out."
Sometimes I feel like world peace would be easier…
Thanks for listening.